I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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