Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
