If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
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