They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
