tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
