Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
