just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Randomize