Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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