I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
