i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
