everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
