loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
