I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
