I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
