If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
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