playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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