No stitches, just platelets and will power
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
How external is "for external use only"?
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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