Can Purell be used as lube?
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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