i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Its about making memories worth repressing
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
What a dumb baby whore.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
