we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
He's a Shit stain on my heart
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize
