I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
