I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Randomize
