just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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