I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
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