My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
false alarm, still single
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