youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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