I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize