allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
So many bounce houses so little time
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
