That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
thus making me awesome and them whores
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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