Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
