im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
