youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
My breasts were aching with rage.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
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