in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
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