Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Randomize
