At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize