I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
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