i need an iv and a liver transplant
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Randomize
