Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
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