NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
The Olympian is in my bed
Randomize
