For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
