Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
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