i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
