I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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