it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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