Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Randomize
