Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
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