stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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