I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize