so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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