You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
