I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Randomize
