her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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