she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
