Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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