maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
