And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Randomize
