I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
