I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
