No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Randomize
