your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
