Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
