He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
