I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize