I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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