hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
