um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
