Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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