can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
