OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
