Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Randomize
