So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
