I murdered the dance floor call the cops
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize
