This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
