and next time when you feel me up, do it right
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
