Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
