I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
