I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
