They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Randomize
