I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Randomize
