Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
